The other weekend, I had the pleasure of taking my younger siblings to see the premier of Superman at the local movie theater. Eager for good seats, we arrived extra early only to be met with avid fans just like us. As always, the first half an hour before the movie is an absolute mind fuck of pointless advertisements for local lawyers, chiropractic clinics, and everyone’s’ favorite part - the movie trailers.

That’s when I had the displeasure of seeing a trailer for the upcoming teen comedy flick ‘Accepted’ starring Justin “The Mac Guy” Long, whom I consider a complete poster child for a typical washed-out actor with absolutely no talent. In retrospect, he fit right into the plot, which goes as follows: a high school graduate is rejected from every college he had applied to and, pressured by his parents, he and his gang of worthless scoundrels create their own university, aptly named the South Harmond Institute of Technology (the acronym is SHIT, get it?). How did they do this, you might wonder? Well, it’s quite simple, according to the producers; all you need is a fake diploma, a website, and an abandoned psychiatric ward renovated to be a full blown school.

Nothing demonstrates defeat and rejection better than flailing your arms like an idiot and throwing a temper tantrum with a stupid smirk on your face in the middle of an upper-middle class community.

Absolutely amazed by this cunning and original plot that was the flicker of light in the theater, I kept watching the trailer. Our young protégé somehow managed not only to trick his own parents into believing that he’s going to a prospective college, but somehow fooled hundreds of other college rejects into attending the newly acquired institution. And what a better motto to adapt for a school filled with slackers than “Students learn what they want to learn!” Hilarity ensues, as students engage in ridiculous classes some of us may have fantasized about in third period English class, but that have no real place or value in a little place called fucking reality. To tip the cliché Hollywood formula for a teenage comedy, you may have already guessed that the main actor discovers the love of his life, convinces his parents that they were wrong, and proves to his entire community just what a hidden little gem he was all these years, just waiting to shine.

Sounds like a great movie, right? Wrong! Don’t get me wrong, someone has to create movies for the intellectually inept, but movies like this just piss me the hell off. Why? Because it gives unrealistic expectations to real losers, like most of the people that are going to see the movie because they feel like society has wronged their miserable little lives. The sooner these idiots realize they’re worthless and they’ll never become anything, the better. Not everyone is going to be the CEO of a multibillion dollar company, so why bother exciting people with false generalizations? Slackers need to learn that they’ll never, ever be successful. It may happen to one slacker out of a million by winning the lottery, but that’s really about it. Sounds real arrogant? Well, you’re that person! The person that will go through life being either ignorant or miserable because you never tried hard enough in high school or college and/or rode on the coattails of your parents, friends, or other people you intimidated or manipulated!

This blog was originally nothing more than little thought I shouted out in none other than the Accepted Sponsored Facebook group, where I was bombarded by a landslide of unintelligent insults that you would usually expect to hear from a middle school pupil, but instead they came from college students who wondered how I dare mock hard-working American values. Well, guess what, the veneration of the slacker is an American motif, which is why our society places so much emphasis on things that don’t require so much mental capacities, like sports and other activities requiring physical prowess.

Now, I’m no prestigious or exception student now and I never was in high school, so I’m in no position to call names, but I think everyone can agree that movies like this need to spot celebrating laziness and the epitome of stupidity. I don’t expect this or any movie this summer to be on par with Casablanca. Go out and escape your life, enjoy this movie, but don’t let it deceive you into thinking that every loser goes about a task like this in their life, because it just doesn’t happen. Although we live in a society that gives us some freedoms to move about our class, rarely will an individual of a lower position, who despite his foibles, triumphs over adversity in a humorous and implausible way. It’s simply a realm of fiction and many people have blurred the fine line between their miserable and worthless lives and this. But it gives hope, you may say. So what? Hope is but another quintessential delusion that has steered millions of people in the wrong direction for millennia – just take religion, for example.

All in all, I hope that you will only take the finer points in this blog seriously and you’re still capable, despite the many hazards, to enjoy a good film when the time is right.